I think that you think you think a lot and you do but it is not focused enough. You are missing out on the depth and quality of your relationship with Jesus because you are all too willing to settle for a distance you were used to having with your earthly father. That goes hand in hand with your proclivity toward procrastination. Sometimes you are just TOO patient. How's that working for you by the way?
Start small so at least you will start. Commit to spending five minutes a day meditating on God and His Word. If it stays at five minutes a day for six months before you increase it or even a year that is just under thirty-one hours meditating on God and His Word. That will undoubtedly have a profound influence on your inner life. You need it, don't put it off. Make a plan, make a big deal out of it. That's how you work and you know if you make a big deal out of it you will not just wake up tomorrow doing everything the exact same. There will be something stuck in your craw that needs tending to.
Above all, make sure to avoid beating yourself up in any way. Take every accusation you hear and counter it with the truth of God's Word. You are enough in Christ. No matter how much more you _______________(fill in the blank) it won't make God love you more or accept you more than He already does in Christ.
Your Melancholy/Phlegmatic introverted self really is enough. Even though everything in you screams that you are just not "right", you have to take up the "shield of faith".
gotquestions.org says it this way: The shield of faith is part of the armor of God described in Ephesians 6:10–17. After summarizing the gospel and giving the Ephesians various instructions, Paul concludes his missive to them saying, in part, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:10–11). About the shield, Paul writes, “In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one” (verse 16). The ESV puts it this way: “In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one.”
The Roman shield of the time was called a scutum. This type of shield was as large as a door and would cover the warrior entirely. Such a shield was not just defensive but could also be used to push opponents. When fighting as a group, a phalanx of soldiers could position their shields so as to form an enclosure around themselves, called a testudo (“tortoise”). This was especially helpful to protect against arrows launched from the walls of cities they were attacking. Shields, often made of wood and then covered in hide, when wet, could extinguish flaming arrows.
Clearly, a shield is vitally important to a soldier. It provides a blanket of protection. It is meant to be taken up in all circumstances. It is the first barrier against the enemy’s attack. Often, shields were painted with identifying marks; a Christian who takes up the shield of faith identifies himself as a foot soldier who serves the Commander of the Lord’s army (see Joshua 5:14).
Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/shield-of-faith.html#ixzz3f9rulOwb